I’ve been in a relationship with a Colombian girl for about 6 months now. I swore I wouldn’t. I decided to travel to Bogota determined just to stay single as long as possible, since I planned on travelling a lot. Time and time again I was told, ‘it won’t be long now’, or ‘everyone gets one in the end’, but I never saw it happening to me.
Of course, it happened.
Still I deal with the preoccupation of people with Colombian girlfriends. Now it’s changed from ‘when are you getting one?’ to ‘what’s it like to have one?’ (obviously now the questions come from friends back home, or people online before they head for a Colombia vacation). The truth is, in my experience, there’s not so much difference. My friends, however, will often report to the contrary, stating that in varying ways Colombian girls are very different to those back home.
I’m reluctant to make any sweeping generalisations about the fairer sex in Colombia and put most of it down to the fact that people are very similar in most cultures, but as a foreigner you only peak into certain aspects of the culture and, moreover, tend to attribute aspects of the culture you experience to the culture in general, when it can easily just be one person’s tick.
Certain cultural differences do seem to pop up though, and have been reported on widely on the internet too (check out Medellin Living and Expat Chronicles for examples). Speaking to my friend Tim, he suggested that in his experience women were far less likely to approach men than back home in the UK, since gender roles are perhaps more pronounced in Latin American culture.
“I’ve had a few girlfriends in Colombia, and each one I’ve approached and pursued. Whereas at home you’ll go for the chase under the guise of friendship (or be very drunk), here you’re far more likely to be straight up about what you’re looking for. I guess it comes from what the men are like here: far more direct. Plus, you have to start dating Colombian girls before you get anywhere, and you won’t know for a while if they’re actually interested”.
Aaron agrees, suggesting that, “the whole thing could come from the politeness of Colombians. In the States I’ll know straight away if the girl isn’t interested. Here it’s like they feel bad saying no, so they’re polite up to the point that I think I’m doing well, when in fact it’s just that: they’re being polite. Because of this though, you keep chasing.”
One thing that I’ve personally noticed, and has been confirmed by friends, is that women in Colombia are very likely to want to go on three dates before taking things further. A respectable move, and one that comes as a surprise to many foreigners that come to the country looking for little more than one night with a girl. Of course, as with any country that’s possible but it’s not as common as I found it was in the UK by any stretch.
Once the ‘pick-up’ is out the way and you’re on your way to relationship-dom, I’ve found Colombian girls to be very much like girls (and people) all around the world:
It depends on the person.
Though theories abound that Colombians are more jealous, less faithful, more loyal, more giving, warmer, wilder and everything between, the truth is people tend to attribute their own ideas of what Latinas are like to the women here. I’ve had far more jealous girlfriends back home, as have my friends, and yet when they complain about jealousy somehow it’s always attributed to the girl being Colombian. Interesting.
Anyway, sure there are patterns and cultural differences here, but don’t expect anything radically different. Speak a little Spanish, dance a little salsa and drink a little Aguardiente, but above all that, just be respectful and a nice guy. Should get you somewhere.
18 thoughts on “Colombian Girls: How are they different?”
Are Colombian women bad and unfaithful?
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I been here in Colombia for almost two years and not every woman here is what she presumes to be. I am from America and I found some women here to be openly flirts and have no respect towards their marriage. I would go to this gym and the trainer there had this woman or girl clinging on him with no shame, only to find out she is married. I feel sorry for whom ever her husband is, poor fellow probably paying for her membership to the gym. I find that to be awlful and such a disgrace. This has not been the only case. Some families here point out that their daughter in laws or sister in laws are deceitful and conniving. They compete with each other or amongst themselves on who looks better or has a thinner body. Some women here fill pressured to have a certain body type, it is sad how narccissistic they can be. Some ladys here point out that colombian women have changed a lot and some go only with men where they know they will have a secure future and stable income.
Thanks for your comment. Of course, in every culture and every country you are bound to find people from all walks of life who act differently in certain situations. This article was purely based on Paul’s experience and those of his friends, which of course are very different from your experience. We were keen not to make any generalisations, and it does clearly depend on the person, although our experiences with Colombian women and people in general have been extremely positive.
Sorry to hear that, but I suggest to change your social circle and interact with more intersting girls outside of the gym.
Colombian Girl on
You were in a GYM. Off course they are going to compete. About flirts… let stop you there. When a girl is nice and smiles to people in America they are called flirts? in Colombia is called friendly. I am tired of my male friends getting the wrong idea because I am kind and treat them with dignity instead of using them like some American girls like to do. So much for female liberation they care so much about what men think of them.
I have come a long way since moving to America because now I know more or less how to behave with people here. This means I have learned the American culture. Now I am not going to trash it because I enjoy living here, but even you have to admit that in America the girls are so much more liberated that they have sex on the first date and lose their virginity to a fling. If you are going to compare then what is flirting compared to actually having sex in the back of a car in your first date.
No culture is perfect and every culture has its share of good and bad depending of who is looking at it.
But since we are talking about Colombian girls then I will tell you something else… I have not met a people more decided, hard working, smart, forward thinking and ambitious as Colombian women are. All of this while maintaining a connection to our roots, to our family and our friends. We do all this while being happy with life, may be because of all the suffering that we enjoy life so much. We are real people, we cook, clean and raise our kids independently and this my dear is why we are so coveted as wives around the world.
We like to have nice things and look good, but we work for it and we keep our values and morals while doing it.
I can’t speak for the ones that are no so good but generally a Colombian woman is a rounded woman. Beautiful, smart, funny, well spoken, kind and women that take of our homes, our kids and husbands.
Ah si !! Yes that is my experience as well and I have had (sadly) 2 Colombian girlfriends. Both wonderful ladies and lovely people as well.If 2008 had not rolled around I would have been still living with mia Columbiana muy enomorado !! I speak Spanish and that helps a lot !!
I also love Spanish culture and that helps a lot too. I find Columbians the most beautiful and the most gracious ladies I have ever come across.
Having said that I also hold Asians in high regard.
Vicente Adolfi on
Nice to know that Andy. But you should brush uo your spanish. spanish is not my mother tongue but even i know “mia Columbiana muy enomorado” is not proper spanish 😀 Btw glad you like spanish culture, but you have been immersed into colombian culture, not spanish. 🙂
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I often compare Colombian women to a young Italian woman, although I have much more knowledge of the former then the latter. Another interesting topic may be the differences between paisas, rolas, caleñas, and costeñas- in some cases there may be bigger differences between them then say rolas and paisas.
Gavin Paisa on
I am married to a Colombian woman, stereotypes are everywhere but I think they hold their own very well compared to snobby spoiled and ignorant sorority brats that swarm the North American population. Google why I will never marry an American woman, I think his case was a little extreme but with the divorce rate hovering around 55% shooting up from 22% in the 1950’s. That is almost triple the rate within less than half a decade, women in the U.S. are far too aggressive, shallow, and emotional unstable for a serious relationship. The numbers prove it, Latin women are overall more faithful, more compassionate and more committed than their North American neighbors. Just be careful, and don’t force yourself into anything you don’t see working out.
If you happen to have a girlfriend/boyfriend or family members in Colombia and would like to send them flowers please use my site! visit http://www.flowershopcolombia.com we ship to any city in Colombia and offer same day delivery with a huge selection of bouquets! Muchas gracias.
Maybe you should have dated a girl outside of a sorority. Your making a generalization that is unjustice. Not every woman in the USA is what you point her out to be. You will realise it soon enough that most colombian women are aggressive especially if you ever decide to cheat on her or flirt with another woman. If they are not direct that is because they huddle in corner or room to gossip or spend rumors about you behind your back. Before you know it everyone in your neighborhood knows your life story. You are naive my friend, but sooner or later you will see.
Very good blog. I’ve been dating a Colombian girl for almost 7 months now and do agree. She grew up in Cartagena but came to Miami later in life and she does meet some typical stereotypes of Latin women but it’s more just her individual personality. Her being Colombian had nothing to do with my reasons for dating her, outside of the fact that she’s absolutely beautiful inside and out.
I think more likely you can see personalities vary based upon the region. It’s still certainly a very individual thing but she and her parents and family are all Costeñas and are very much happy, care free, warm and loving people. She does love to party but really isn’t huge on drinking but just very social and happy. Very similar to people from beach towns in the US. Likewise people from Bogota tend to be much less personable and more cold and standoffish from my experiences, which is likely due to living in such a big city. Very much like New Yorkers here.
My girlfriend is very polite and this seems to be common amongst most Colombians. She’s very passionate but really seeks to not offend others or to cause confrontation. I had to learn this because women in the US tend to be more direct/willing to offend. At the same time she definitely speaks her mind but I agree Colombian women are much more polite. It’s not uncommon to see obnoxious girls here just be absolutely rude to guys that approach them out somewhere and not feel the slightest bit bad about it either, and yes it’s usually pretty obvious right away if a girl doesn’t like you.
There are certain stereotypes that do fit gringos and really all types of Latin people but probably more based on how someone was raised than anything. I can’t wait to visit Cartagena for New Year’s Eve!!! It will be a dream come true for both of us!
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Good point about being polite! The problem is when a colombian girl is, like me, living in a foreing country, is difficult for guys to understand the wey we act. Is even funny sometimes 😉 nice blog!
Agreed. I married a Colombian and I didn’t marry her because she is Colombian. I married her because she has all the qualities I look for in a woman of whatever nationality. I think there are quite a lot of myths about Colombian women although I think it MAY be true to say that they are a little bit more reserved than UK girls, contrary to stereotype.
As a Colombiana, all I can say is, very well put. Gracias.