I’ve been in a relationship with a Colombian girl for about 6 months now. I swore I wouldn’t. I decided to travel to Bogota determined just to stay single as long as possible, since I planned on travelling a lot. Time and time again I was told, ‘it won’t be long now’, or ‘everyone gets one in the end’, but I never saw it happening to me.
Of course, it happened.
Still I deal with the preoccupation of people with Colombian girlfriends. Now it’s changed from ‘when are you getting one?’ to ‘what’s it like to have one?’ (obviously now the questions come from friends back home, or people online before they head for a Colombia vacation). The truth is, in my experience, there’s not so much difference. My friends, however, will often report to the contrary, stating that in varying ways Colombian girls are very different to those back home.
I’m reluctant to make any sweeping generalisations about the fairer sex in Colombia and put most of it down to the fact that people are very similar in most cultures, but as a foreigner you only peak into certain aspects of the culture and, moreover, tend to attribute aspects of the culture you experience to the culture in general, when it can easily just be one person’s tick.
Certain cultural differences do seem to pop up though, and have been reported on widely on the internet too (check out Medellin Living and Expat Chronicles for examples). Speaking to my friend Tim, he suggested that in his experience women were far less likely to approach men than back home in the UK, since gender roles are perhaps more pronounced in Latin American culture.
“I’ve had a few girlfriends in Colombia, and each one I’ve approached and pursued. Whereas at home you’ll go for the chase under the guise of friendship (or be very drunk), here you’re far more likely to be straight up about what you’re looking for. I guess it comes from what the men are like here: far more direct. Plus, you have to start dating Colombian girls before you get anywhere, and you won’t know for a while if they’re actually interested”.
Aaron agrees, suggesting that, “the whole thing could come from the politeness of Colombians. In the States I’ll know straight away if the girl isn’t interested. Here it’s like they feel bad saying no, so they’re polite up to the point that I think I’m doing well, when in fact it’s just that: they’re being polite. Because of this though, you keep chasing.”
One thing that I’ve personally noticed, and has been confirmed by friends, is that women in Colombia are very likely to want to go on three dates before taking things further. A respectable move, and one that comes as a surprise to many foreigners that come to the country looking for little more than one night with a girl. Of course, as with any country that’s possible but it’s not as common as I found it was in the UK by any stretch.
Once the ‘pick-up’ is out the way and you’re on your way to relationship-dom, I’ve found Colombian girls to be very much like girls (and people) all around the world:
It depends on the person.
Though theories abound that Colombians are more jealous, less faithful, more loyal, more giving, warmer, wilder and everything between, the truth is people tend to attribute their own ideas of what Latinas are like to the women here. I’ve had far more jealous girlfriends back home, as have my friends, and yet when they complain about jealousy somehow it’s always attributed to the girl being Colombian. Interesting.
Anyway, sure there are patterns and cultural differences here, but don’t expect anything radically different. Speak a little Spanish, dance a little salsa and drink a little Aguardiente, but above all that, just be respectful and a nice guy. Should get you somewhere.
Ryan
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