Signs You’ve Been in Colombia too Long

Sure, you might say that you can never spend too long in Colombia. But there are definite signs that you have gone native, and the Colombianization has been complete. Here are some of our favourites:

You say ‘que pena’ instinctively

This Colombian phrase for saying ‘I’m sorry’ initially confused and bothered me a fair bit. It literally means ‘what a pity’ or ‘what a shame’. As an Englishman, I am obviously always on the lookout for a good bit of sarcasm and the first few times I heard this phrase I was sure people were being insincere. Imagine someone stepping on your foot on the bus or bumping into you on the street and saying ‘what a shame’ – how can it sound anything but sarcastic? Yet much to my chagrin, I have noticed myself using the term several times every day. It seems just to roll off my tongue and before my brain has time to process what I am saying it is out there, making me feel slightly dirty and repulsive.

– Azzam

You catch yourself being effusively enthusiastic about things you once would have considered terribly mundane

“Oh!! This pastry is sooooooo delicious. Aiii!!!” “Wow!!! It’s one o’clock. ONE O’CLOCK!!!” “My God! The weather is amazingly MILD today!!” Such remarkable, informative revelations are usually accompanied by an intricate series of inhalations, exhalations, moans, sighs, and extravagant facial expressions.

– Gilesy

You don’t find it weird that your oven is simply used to store oil and plates

I can’t make any wild generalisations, but I can base my comments on my own experience. In every house that I have lived in here and in every one of my friends’ houses there is an oven. Obviously. However, thus far I am yet to find one which actually works as an oven. You know, for crazy things like baking and the like. No no, it seems that they are simply there for aesthetics, for not one actually has the capacity to function as it should. Instead they are seen as handy storage units. The fact that I don’t even think about roasting or baking any of my food anymore highlights my evolution from Londoner to strange hybrid-crossover-foreigner-who-has-been-here-a-while.

– Azzam

Simply drinking and chatting is no longer an option

When I’m in England I spend a great deal of my time in a pub with a pint in my hand, chatting to my friends. This, ultimately, is our entire plan for the evening. Here in Colombia, while drinking and chatting are perfectly acceptable, more often than not you’ll be dragged to the dancefloor in order to throw some shapes. It’s got to the point where now simply drinking and chatting doesn’t suffice; I feel unfulfilled. My night simply hasn’t been a success unless I’ve jigged a little.

– Paul

You adore aguardiente

As regular readers of this blog may know, I have a love-hate relationship with Colombia’s national spirit. Essentially, I love it and I hate the fact that I love it. Or maybe it’s that I hate it and love that I hate it. I’m confused. Must be all the aguardiente.

– Azzam

You stare at other gringos with wide-eyed, sincere and open curiosity.

Where are they from? What are they doing here? I hope they’re being careful.

– Gilesy

You point with your lips and you chop your neck

Instead of pointing with your rather accurate finger, you have begun pointing with a vague and rather uninformative purse of your lips. Instead of saying “bad” or that you don’t like something, you now bring your hand to your neck in a kind of “chop”. Just two of the mannerisms you’ll pick up if you spend a decent amount of time in Colombia.

– Paul

Having once reviled both genres with barely-concealed hatred, you begin to wait for that vallenato or reggaeton song, and welcome its appearance with obvious glee.

“La mano arriba”…

– Gilesy

You are nice to strangers

Remember back home when you’d keep your eyes firmly pointing to your feet, avoid as much small talk as possible and generally having no interaction with people you didn’t know? That’s all changed now. I regularly start up random conversations with strangers in bars, cafes, on the street… Basically anywhere. And, most surprising of all, people are receptive. They talk back. They even enjoy talking back. That’s one habit I’ll have to get rid of when returning to England.

– Paul

What else have you picked up (or seen others pick up) having lived in Colombia?