Jul 25

You Should Be Playing Tejo, The Greatest Game of All.

 

Football? Cricket? Angry Birds? Well I´ve heard that they´re OK, but they are missing a couple of things.

For one thing, there aren´t enough real explosions in any of them. Any Michael Bay could tell you that to make any good thing into a great thing, all you need to do is add some BOOOOOMS!! Maybe a camera-pan up to the sky now and then, but mainly BOOOOOOOMS!!

Beer doesn´t feature enough in any of those games. Although there are ways to work the amber fluid into the above games, but it´s not really an integral part of the game.

 

Do we need a caption here? BEER!
Absolutely necessary, this stuff

 

OK, so what we need is a game with plenty of explosions explosions michael bay explosions!!!! and where beer isn´t optional, but compulsory.

Beer-pong covers one side, skeet-shooting the other. We don´t recommend combining the two.

Don´t despair, though, as usual, Colombia has you covered.

Sports-fans, let me introduce you to the three most beautiful words in the Portuguese language (they speak Portuguese in Colombia, right?):

 

TEJO!!!!!!

 

Here´s how to play:

 

Go to a tejo bar. Shouldn´t be too hard to track down in whatever town you´re in. Just follow the BOOOMS!!

Buy at least one crate of beer. If you don´t take this crucial step, I´m afraid you won´t be let onto the pitch itself. Compulsory, you see. Suck it up, buttercup!!! On the positive side, the game after that will be free. As long as you have beer.

Then, get a heavy disc, and hurl it at a clay target, and specifially, the little pink triangles on said clay target. Make them go BOOOOOM!!

You´re after those triangles in the middle there.
You´re after those triangles in the middle there.

Well, that´s how we played it, there were other, more serious señores how seemed much more seasoned pros, and there are other rules, tactics, and excitements available.

 

Still, BOOOOOMS! and beer remain the basic – and necessary – foundations of any game of tejo.

You need to play it. It clearly is the best game ever invented!

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