And then, football went literally cray-cray over Colombia. Not only does it look like the Cafeteros will barge their way into the World Cup (guess what our tip for the team to watch there is? HINT: it’s not Australia), but – and without any exaggeration – every single European team wants every single Colombian football player that has ever strapped on a pair of boots, and they’re prepared to pay all the money in the world to do so. OK, so a fair few clubs are getting all fetishy over at least three Colombian stars. Jeez! Why are you guys so touchy about hyperbole, huh? It’s a literary technique, alright?
So, let’s have a look at that hearsay. Did you know Fleetwood Mac made one of the best album of the 70s? What was it called again? Rumours.
No, no, it’s all true, I’m afraid, Brit…
Everyone’s got their eye on El Tigre.
Chelsea, Manchester City, Manchester United. No, I’m not listing places where you can get into a good fight whilst visiting sunny England. OK, well, not only. These are just 3 of the teams that have been said to want to get their greasy little mitts on this superstar of the world game, and not only because of his pretty hair and face. Scoring a lazy 28 goals out of 33 games in the regular season, and finding it in the goodness of his heart to help his team, Atletico, to pretty much destroy La Liga, Santa Marta’s favourite son, Falcaoooooooo is riding high. We’re talking about this kind of performance riding high.
Right now, it looks like Monaco is going to cough up the paltry 60 million euros needed to move him. Which is interesting, because…
James Rodriguez is set to head to the Principality already.
This brisk, classy, Colombian mid-fielder, only 21 years old, has just rushed into the headlines. He’s only become the most expensive signing of the European summer, with Porto handing him over for a cool 45 miiiiilion euros (evil laugh). Forget that, he’s actually busted into the top 10 of the most expensive signings in the history of the football universe, just behind Falcao in eighth place (for now). See you at the roulette table, James!
In all this great kerfuffle, it seems like everyone’s forgotten about…
James’ (former) Porto team-mate, Jackson Martinez.
Everyone, that is, except for AC MIlan, Borussia Dortmund, Anzhi Makhachkala, Liverpool, Manchester United, Galatasaray, Juventus, and Barcelona. In a flurry of rumours worthy of an Adele song (btw: Adele, mate, get over it, already: the break-up was years ago!), half the teams in Europe are after this other Colombian goal machine. Poor fella: it looks like he’ll have to settle with a laaame 40 million euro buyout deal for one of these teams to pick him up. The heart bleeds.
You reckon that would stop him dancing, though?
So, get used to the following words getting bandied about even more: the Colombian National Football Team, Falcao, Rodriguez, and Martinez. It seems like a pretty good part of the future of football has a particularly Colombian flavour about it. You won’t see any Colombianos tomorrow when you watch the Champions’ League Final in Bogotá, but that’s only a temporary problem, we assure you.
