{"id":8751,"date":"2013-06-13T12:56:41","date_gmt":"2013-06-13T17:56:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/seecolombia.travel\/blog\/?p=8751"},"modified":"2021-08-23T10:56:06","modified_gmt":"2021-08-23T15:56:06","slug":"columbia-the-movie-colombia-vs-hollywood-vi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seecolombia.travel\/blog\/2013\/06\/columbia-the-movie-colombia-vs-hollywood-vi\/","title":{"rendered":"COLUMBIA: THE MOVIE (Colombia vs. Hollywood VI)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"columbiathemovie<\/a><\/p>\n

#A country gone to hell.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

(Overhead shot of a desert – cacti, chickens, and donkeys. Numerous Mexicans in army fatigues shooting machine guns into the air)<\/p>\n

Mexicans: <\/strong>“Underlay, underlay, Yippai! Yippai!”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

#A ruthless drug lord with no mercy.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

(Shot of a chubby, white-suited, sun-glassed drug lord walking away as his moustachioed goons shoot a weeping man in a sombrero while his distraught family watch on. Chickens fly everywhere, clucking in terror. Young Scooter in the background, dancing Gangnam style.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\" <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Drug Lord: <\/strong>“I tole jou no screw me, Miguelerino. Eef I tell jou grow Ecstasy plants, jou grow ’em. Look at jou now!”<\/p>\n

Young Scooter: <\/strong>“I jus’ fell in love with a Cuban.”<\/p>\n

(A donkey in the background explodes into a mushroom cloud.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"mrandmrssmithpic2\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

#A city without law.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

(Overhead shot of Bogota – helicopters circling indiscriminately, entire blocks on fire. Monkeys scale old pink Cuban buildings crumbling among the dust and cacti. In a dingy plaza, men in sombreros dance to ranchero music around a massive pile of white powder, firing their revolvers into the air. Explosions.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

#A sexy lady in peril. <\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

(Shot of Sexy Colombian Lady in crop-top and denim shorts being escorted out of a shiny black SUV by Young Scooter. An inscrutable Drug Lord looks on, smoking a fat cigar.)<\/p>\n

Sexy Colombian Lady: <\/strong>“I no comprendo. I sooo sexy. How come hay problemos?<\/p>\n

Young Scooter: <\/strong>“I love Colombia.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

#One man will rise above the chaos.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Rocco: <\/strong>“But Mommy!! I don’t wanna go Columbia. It smells funny, and besides, I don’t even like cocaine.”<\/p>\n

Madonna: <\/strong>“Now, you’re coming with me, and that’s final! Another word, and you’re on the first plane back to Africa!”<\/p>\n

Rocco: <\/strong>“I just know you’re going to take your top off. They’ll beat me up at school again.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

#DRUGS<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

(Shot of Young Scooter, mixing up a bowl of what looks like pancake batter.)<\/p>\n

#VIOLENCE<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

(Shot of Drug Lord, slapping a donkey in the face.)<\/p>\n

#SEXINESS<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

(Shot of a terrified Sexy Colombian Lady, washing a black SUV. Suds everywhere.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

#THIS FALL<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Pablo,<\/a>
You best not mess with me. I’ll instagram yo’ ass.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

#REVENGE IS A DISH BEST SERVED<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"@pabloescobar<\/a>
@ColumbianDrugLord #totesawks you so dedd right now lolz<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/h2>\n

#COLUMBIAN<\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Young Scooter spontaneously combusts.)<\/p>\n

Madonna: <\/strong>“What happened to your meeting with Scooter?”<\/p>\n

Rocco: <\/strong>“I had to blow him off.”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

#COLUMBIA: THE MOVIE<\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

(Shot of Rocco, embracing Sexy Colombian Lady, who is wearing a pointy bra. Pan to the sky.)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hollywood, eh? If you don’t laugh, you just might cry.<\/p>\n

This is Part VI of our Colombia vs. Hollywood series. Check out our inspirations here:<\/p>\n

Mr and Mrs Smith<\/a> <\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0Romancing the Stone<\/a>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Medellin<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Colombiana<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

#A country gone to hell. (Overhead shot of a desert – cacti, chickens, and donkeys. Numerous Mexicans in army fatigues shooting machine guns into the air) Mexicans: “Underlay, underlay, Yippai! Yippai!”   #A ruthless drug lord with no mercy. (Shot of a chubby, white-suited, sun-glassed drug lord walking away as his moustachioed goons shoot a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":88889,"featured_media":8745,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[71,35,115,4,1632,1412,891,131],"tags":[2881,58,797],"yoast_head":"\nCOLUMBIA: THE MOVIE (Colombia vs. Hollywood VI) - Colombia Travel Blog by See Colombia Travel<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/seecolombia.travel\/blog\/2013\/06\/columbia-the-movie-colombia-vs-hollywood-vi\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"COLUMBIA: THE MOVIE (Colombia vs. Hollywood VI)\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"#A country gone to hell. 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