{"id":8215,"date":"2013-05-15T13:59:36","date_gmt":"2013-05-15T18:59:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/seecolombia.travel\/blog\/?p=8215"},"modified":"2016-05-04T17:30:32","modified_gmt":"2016-05-04T22:30:32","slug":"bogota-the-most-criminal-city-in-the-world","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seecolombia.travel\/blog\/2013\/05\/bogota-the-most-criminal-city-in-the-world\/","title":{"rendered":"Bogot\u00e1: The Most Criminal City in the World? A poem."},"content":{"rendered":"

On reading that post by ole Richard McColl<\/a>
\n(An article that found itself rightly appalled
\nBy that excuse for news, the thing that quite filled
\nPage upon page of that German rag, Bild<\/em>),<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t know whether to laugh, or to cry,
\nAt this perfect-pitched piece by our erudite guy,
\nBut the source for its rage – that thing in the Bild<\/em><\/a> –
\nSays that if you live here, you\u2019ll risk being killed.<\/p>\n

Indeed this is a subject quite touchy for us,
\nAs, though we may rue each unholy trip by bus,
\nUs living in Bogot\u00e1<\/a> have come to love and to trust,
\nThis great – if frustrating – place in which we were thrust.<\/p>\n

So it\u2019s with both \u201cdis\u201dses: \u2018appointment, and \u2018may,
\nThat Bogotanos read (again!) what some outsiders say,
\nSomething so badly researched, and blatantly ignorant,
\nSomething that rightfully makes our Richie indignant.<\/p>\n

Something so crazily out of touch with reality:
\nThat, at worst it is slander; at best, irrationality.
\nSomething that, even with the little German we know,
\nWe could\u2019ve written when we were just “f\u00fcnfzehn<\/em>” years old.<\/p>\n

Something that was cynically thought up to rile,
\nTo bring comments and trolls; traffic and bile.
\nSomething to boost the ratings of this \u201cauthor’s\u201d page,
\nBut fill those living this fine city with rage.<\/p>\n

So just what was it that this “journalist” wrote?
\nWell, let\u2019s sum up all the ignorance in one simple quote,
\nTake this fine line that Richard unfurled:
\n“Bogota: the most criminal city in the world!<\/strong>”<\/p>\n

Slack-jawed and aghast, no way to respond,
\nUnable to process how\u2019d one man go so wrong,
\nHow one “journo” could make this declaration,
\nHaving spent just two nights in the heart of our nation.<\/p>\n

Poor old Joachim was only kept safe and alright,
\nWith hundreds of soldiers there by his side.
\nEven then our reporter still sounds quite afraid –
\nAfraid they were there for a formal parade.<\/p>\n

In the pictures, his Prez looks quite stressed and upset:
\n\u201cShould I have one more coffee, or go straight to bed?\u201d
\nAnd brave Ralfy himself, from over the seas,
\nScared of us locals: \u201cWas? Chocolate und cheese?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Old Town a fortress!\u201d he proclaims in awed tones.
\nA fortress of what? Colonial homes?
\n\u201cBeware, oh foreigners! You\u2019ll be lost here for good!\u201d
\nHe\u2019s right there, I guess: I\u2019m not leaving \u2013 who would?<\/p>\n

Then, in the same rag, we read with great pity,
\nIt\u2019s not seen in their list of most dangerous cities<\/a>.
\nNot even a mention, and, you know, what is more,
\nIt\u2019s safer than N\u2019Orleans, hell! and old Baltimore.<\/p>\n

We know, expats and Colombians get over-defensive,
\nAnd at times our anger may seem over-sensitive,
\nBut when you’re taking these huge, proud strides forward,
\nAnd see what such \u201cexperts\u201d have blithely \u201creported\u201d,<\/p>\n

We just have to cop it, and then proudly proclaim
\n\u201cSo brutal ist Bogot\u00e1,\u201d and shout without shame.
\n\u201cBrutal?\u201d \u201cY Chevere!\u201d \u201cQue bueno,\u201d \u201cMuy bien.\u201d
\nAs we drink up this city, and wonder just when<\/p>\n

We’ll stop reading lazy “journos” like these,
\nWe’ll stop seeing this excuse for “expertise”,
\nWe\u2019ll stop hearing these rumours, this danger disease.
\nAnd as we sip our hot chocolates \u2013 that\u2019s right, Ralf \u2013 with cheese,<\/p>\n

We’ll finally get what we all want to hear:
\n“Come here to the Bog, come all without fear!
\nWe\u2019re waiting for you, yeah, we\u2019re nursing your beer!”
\nSo let\u2019s all give the world one great big Bogota cheer:<\/p>\n

\u201cTan Brutal es Bogota!<\/em> Why aren\u2019t you here?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By Paul Fowler and Paul Giles<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On reading that post by ole Richard McColl (An article that found itself rightly appalled By that excuse for news, the thing that quite filled Page upon page of that German rag, Bild), I didn\u2019t know whether to laugh, or to cry, At this perfect-pitched piece by our erudite guy, But the source for its […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2383,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0},"categories":[35,626,4,1667,66,97],"tags":[2976,2868,2882],"yoast_head":"\nBogot\u00e1: The Most Criminal City in the World? 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