Sep 20

17 Reasons Why Colombian Beaches Are Crazy

tayrona park colombia

 

My home country is famous for how many beaches it´s home to. However, sadly, I grew up way out in the country, nowhere within sight of a real beach. Back in country Australia, where I’m from, beaches were sheets with a hose and tricks.

 

We sold ourselves short.
We sold ourselves short.

 

Moving to Sydney later on, I must admit that I came across the odd nice beach, but, really, Colombia is a whole different kettle of fish.

 

In Colombia, beaches are crazy

 

Tayrona. That beach cray.
Tayrona. That beach cray.

 

So crazy that once I found about them, I got a little excited. I just wanted to be on mad beaches. All those nights back home, I never had beaches; now I´m all up on that sand, loving these beaches.

So, while you guys back home or in Europe or the US are sitting there in your office, stressing out about having to organise office birthday parties for people you actually kind of hate, spare a thought for those of us here in Colombia unlucky enough to be spread-eagled on the world´s most beautiful beaches.

 

If you´re having work problems, I feel bad for you, son: I got 99 problems, but this beach ain´t one.

 

Taganga's beaches
I got a beach in Tayrona, got a beach in Taganga…

 

That renowned feminist philosopher, Ice Cube, star of such classics as Are We There YetAnaconda, and XXX 2, once memorably postulated that “a beach is a beach.” Well, I suppose that might be true over there in LA, Professor Cube; but here in Colombia, things are a bit different. A beach isn´t merely a beach. Here in Colombia, and I repeat: beaches are crazy awesome.

 

The beach at Cabo de La Vela
Especially up at Cabo de La Vela in La Guajira, the best place in the world to *eat* cray on a beach.

 

It´s hard to decide which beach to get all on top of when here in Colombia. There are so many beaches on offer.

In Cartagena: BEACHES ARE CRAZY.

 

Beach taken by Harald Schafer.
Beach taken by Harald Schafer.

 

In Barranquilla, BEACHES ARE CRAZY.

 

Barranquilla got beaches up the hizzay.
Barranquilla got beaches up the hizzay.

 

And, I´ll be god-damned if it´s not the case that in San Andres, BEACHES ARE CRAZY!!!

 

San Andres is all about the beaches.
San Andres is all about the beaches.

 

Indeed, I´d be tempted to say that in San Andres, home to waters of seven colours (OK, well, shades of blue), BEACHES ARE TOTALLY CRAZY!

 

San Andres
These beaches are “totes cray-cray.” It´s obvious that I¨m serious.

 

Ah… Colombian beaches. Pristine sand; balmy, crystal-clear waters; dramatic back-drops so beautiful it almost hurts.

 

Wonder why they call you beach.
Wonder why they call you beach.

 

Beaches are so crazy in Colombia, that you never know where you´ll run into one. You´d hardly think that you´d come across an amazing beach right in the middle of inland Boyaca, but, friends, this is Colombia, home of the world´s craziest beaches.

 

Taken by Dairo Correa, on Flickr.
Beach at Lake Tota, Boyaca. Taken by Dairo Correa on Flickr.

 

It appears that beaches are all over. So much so, that one can get kind of weirdly possessive. So, if you see me up in Tayrona on a beach all by myself; please be respectful.

 

Parque Tayrona
Leave me and my beach in peace, aight?

 

I know that I work as a travel writer, but sometimes, words fail me when it comes to Colombian beaches. I mean, I´m trying to find the words to describe this shot without being disrespectful. 

 

Santa Marta beaches.
Santa Marta beaches.

 

But, damn girl, it´s such a sexy beach. 

In fact, there are so many sexy beaches, where do I begin? Do I choose the wild beauty of Choco beaches…

 

Nuquí. Chocó.Colombia
Choco on the Pacific; home to some real wild beaches. Taken by Josmi Amin Martelo.

 

or beaches at the end of the world in La Guajira…

 

View from the Pilon de Azucar
View from the Pilon de Azucar, La Guajira.

 

or pristine white beaches just out of Cartagena?

 

Playa-playa Blanca.
Playa-playa Blanca.

 

Really, it doesn´t matter who you are. I´m comfortable in asserting that Colombia has a beach for you.

 

Did I mention the word, beach?

 

Colombian beaches: gotta love ´em.

 

To Colombian beaches, with love.
To all our Colombian beaches, with love.

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “17 Reasons Why Colombian Beaches Are Crazy

  1. Mario on

    I see this, and my head hurts. I mean, you are giving Barranquilla beaches (they have none, you are thinking about Puerto Colombia beaches), you are mentioning San Andres TWICE, but no Santa Marta, and no Tayrona Park? Shame on you, Paul

    Reply

      Paul Giles on

      Hey Mario,
      I´m sorry to hurt your head! I want to come right out and say that I meant absolutely no disrespect to any of our Colombian beaches.
      To be fair, though; FOUR of those photos of beaches are of Tayrona, and I did mention Tayrona twice (in the photo captions, admittedly). I also mentioned Santa Marta in a photo caption to one of that city´s beautiful beaches, and the final photo is also of a Santa Marta beach. Nothing but mad love to both Tayrona and Santa Marta beaches.
      I also apologise about my floppy definition of Barranquilla beaches; but, again to be fair, Puerto Colombia has been part of the municipality of Barranquilla since 1993.
      Does San Andres not deserve two mentions? Won´t the beaches up that way be upset if we tell them that?
      All in all, though, our discussion only provides more evidence to support my overarching proposition, which is, and I must reiterate, “Colombian Beaches Be Crazy.” Enjoy all of them!! 🙂

      Reply

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